by

At 29 years of age, in my mind, I see myself standing at a crossroads (I know, cliche, right?  Just bear with me; don't run away yet).  Multiple paths lay at my feet.  Each one of them a different journey. A wholly different story.

 The paths split in every direction.  Each of them forming their own diverging pathways to infinity.  I see these countless roads before my feet and I find myself indecisive and afraid.  Faced with the fear of uncertainty that any of those paths may bring, I walk forward, past this wondrous and terrifying hub and follow the singular road that I've always followed.  Throughout my life I've done this.   I'd love to have some great explanation for why I've done this for so long, but the fact of the matter is that I'm scared to venture off of that path which has become so comfortable to me all these years. 

When I really look inside myself, the tragic fact of the matter is that I choose this because it's easy.  I've coasted for so long that I don't know what it feels like to try something new, to take a chance.  Hell, to even challenge myself. At this moment, as I write these words, I can truthfully tell you I feel as though I never have.

 I coasted through high school. Absolutely coasted through college (to this day, one of my greatest regrets).  I even coast through my hobbies (I can't remember how long I've been trying to master the B barre chord on the guitar only to give up again for another year.  It is the Scarlet Letter of learning the guitar.  A harsh mistress, indeed...). 

This isn't meant to be a sob story, however.  Coasting has given me a great deal.  I have a good job with a beautiful wife and two wonderful little children. I've never taken the divergent paths, never been sure of what I exactly wanted out of life, but I was always certain that I wanted to be a good father.  My two girls are everything to me and I think I have that part mostly down.


  Adorable.


I have a great life; I'm not saying that I don't.  But today is the day that I take one of those divergent paths and see where it takes me. 

No, I'm not quitting my job and leaving my family, that would be stupid and irresponsible.  But I am going to write. I'm just going to write. 

And I'm going to write a lot...

 I'm going to write poetry.

I'm going to write short stories.

Hell, maybe I'll do something crazy and write a damned novel for all I know. 

And guess what?  I've never written anything creative before so I'm sure it'll probably be really bad!  But the wonderful thing about this plan is that to me that's just fine.  Because for God's sakes at least I'm creating something.  Maybe after I do it for a while, it won't be so awful.  Or I'll get worse, who cares?

I just want to, in twenty years, maybe look back in my life and not regret at least trying something.   It's impossible to tread every possible path that is laid out in front of me, I know this to be true.  infinity is too much, and sadly, life is too short. But I will take one a slight right turn and see how that changes my story, and even possibly the ending.